Alright, I know there are some who read my blog. I now want some input. Honest input. Am I being silly, overprotective? Let me tell you.....
We have a rule in our house that there are no sleepovers. The only exception is cousins. And when people we know go out of town & need help with their kids (don't all plan your vacations at the same time ;).
Other than that, no sleepovers. Plain & simple.
This was a decision Judd & I made years ago before sleepovers were an issue. We have no horrible experience that swayed us, just something we felt in this day & age was a good decision.
Is this silly? Overprotective?
A child of mine (she told me she would be mad if I used her name. You have a 50 50 shot of getting it right, if you were to guess) is upset because I had to pick her up from a party tonight that was a sleepover. I realize that she was upset because I told her 10 & I had to get her at 9. But she said that one of the girls told her it was a stupid rule we had. Now I'm not worried about that little girls opinion, that's not what is bothering me.
I'm upset that she's upset. She was in tears.
We sat down & went over the rules again. I simply told her that for her safety & security her Dad & I have made this decision. But as I sat & listened to her I worried. Am I alienating her? Making her stick out in a weird way? Being a control freak?
This is one of those "How am I doing as a parent?" moments - help me out!! I don't care if you have no children or your kids are raised & out of the house.
What is your opinion on sleepovers?
13 comments:
I don't think that you are over reacting!! I now have that same rule because of all the decusions we had. There are several people in Reno that have the same rule!! you are doing the right thing and she will thank you for it later.
Sara :)
I think that if you made that rule you should stick with it. I don't think it's being overprotective. We do sleepovers but they are mainly just with closest friends. A lot can happen at a sleepover when they are teenagers and in a way you are preventing that from happening by setting the standard now. Stick to it!
I agree with Sara! I think that you have to stick to your guns. I know it is hard, but the rule is for her safety whether she sees it that way or not. Unfortunately it will only get harder as they get older...no dating until 16...i am sure friends will think that is a stupid rule too. You are a good mom and doing the right thing if you ask me...and you did...
We have the same rule. I let Bre stay until the other girls are going to bed, usually around mid-night, or 1 am, and then I go and get her. I'm also willing to take her back in the morning for breakfast with her friends if she wants to. That way the only thing she is missing out on is the hours of unsupervised vulnerability in the middle of the night. I am willing to stay up way late, and get up way early so she won't miss out, but I know that nothing can happen to her when everyone is sleeping. After 3 years of sleepovers, her friends are beginning to understand, and plan things out so that Bre won't miss out on stuff. We also host "late night" parties.
Sleepovers is a good topic. When I was littler (like primary age) and when Katie was a teen, we were allowed- the only place I ever wanted to stay at was the TiaTia's house, then my Mom and Dad changed to no sleepovers because of a counsel given in General Conference that pretty much said know who your children's friends are. I must admit I was really mad because I didn't get to stay at the parties, I always had to leave first. But now looking back on it I am glad my parents made that rule because who knows what could be different if i had stayed just that one time. My junior year of high school I got to stay the night a few times but is because my mom knew my friend and her mom, I was fine there. No I don't think that you are being over protective, I think my family one day will have that rule too. I think you should stick to that rule, I am grateful my parents did. Especially since they are still young,I think you are doing the right thing.
I think it's a good rule. I've heard way to many horrible life changing stories that have happened to friends at a sleepover. My girls won't be doing them either. It's hard but I think this will damage her less than if something else happened.
Okay... this is one fo those things that I can totally understand. I think when they are younger, like Haley or Savannah's age, it might be okay to have sleepovers if you trust the parents and know them really well and feel comfortable with the entire sleepover situation, but as they get older, it is one of those things where kids just come up with ideas of stupid and immature things to do. So, I think you're being smart by implementing it now. It would be hard to allow it at this age, and then take it away when they are teens, ya' know?
I think it's a great idea. And you should stick with it. I dont think it is overprotective it's just plani SMART! It worries me thinking about the things teenagers do at sleepovers!!!!
We have the same rule and it is just the beginning of the questions from your kids and others. There will be many many more things they don't understand and may not even like. Remember those days? Now, I am the parent implementing the same safety type disciplines for my children. Not a fun job sometimes but a very good one.
I have to say that Donnie and I have not talked about this and I personally don't like the idea because sleepovers were fun! BUT I was watchng something on BYU TV with my mom and the General Authority that was talking said we shouldn't allow our children to have sleepovers. Not only because of the crazy ideas they come up with but lets face it sometimes we don't know people as well as we think we do. It is sad that thats the days we are living in. But its important to protect our children! Your a super mama keep it up! Also, my mother wouldn't let me do stuff with one of my friends and I thank her for it now Hopefully your girl will see your wisdom down the road:)
We have done 1 sleepover and it was here at our house. It went well and there was no issues. No if the coin was flipped and Sydney wanted to spend the night at someone else's house, I'm not too sure. I grew up having slumber parties ALL THE TIME. We had fun, got into no major trouble, did sneak out of the house once and I was petrified we would get caught! With that all being said I think it really depends on WHO the sleep over is with. Good friends with families you know well I think are ok. But if its a rule you have already implemented than I say stick to it. The biggest problem that could come from her not sleeping over is what her friends may end up thinking of her. But your standards and rules come first. She will not be traumatized for it!! You are doing the right thing for your girls! Kind of all over the page about it I know!!
I don't think you are being overprotective. Sky and I have set up that rule for our family, too....although I must admit I am not really looking forward to the day when I will actually have to enforce it. I know it will be tough, but I would rather be safe than sorry. As our kids grow up, I'm sure they will appreciate it. Everyone has to decide these things for their own families.
Post a Comment